Blog

Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings

*Trigger Warning: This post explicitly discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts and feelings. If you are struggling or feeling vulnerable, please be mindful of your own self-care while reading this post and take time away from the material if you need to.  

Reading time: 5-7min

Why I am not watching “I Am Not A Rapist"

As someone who works in sexual violence prevention, I spend a lot of time discussing false accusations. TV shows and documentaries focusing on the prevalence of alleged false accusations make my job increasingly difficult. They suggest that false accusations of sexual violence are commonplace and reinforce the culture of blame and suspicion towards those who speak up about sexual violence.

Shame

Although shame and guilt often overlap, they are not the same. Shame is more about how we view ourselves deep down, while guilt is about believing we have done something wrong. Both can weigh heavily, even though neither belongs to survivors of sexual violence.

Survivors have described shame as one of the most painful and isolating feelings they have experienced. It can feel tangled, overwhelming, and deeply personal. Many describe it as something that clings and weighs them down, leaving them feeling small, unworthy, or convinced that no one will want to help.

This can make it harder to ask for support or to talk about what happened.

But here’s the truth: this shame does not belong to you.

Relationships after Sexual Violence

Read Time: 6-10min

Experiences of sexual violence can cause significant trauma as well as short and long-term physical, emotional and sexual wellbeing issues. It can be a significant experience which can alter your view of the world, making it difficult to trust others, including yourself, or relate to people in the way you used to. Your confidence and self-esteem may have been impacted by your experience, and it can make you feel uncomfortable with any form of physical or emotional contact. You may find your relationships with other people, including your friends, intimate partner, children and wider family, have also been impacted by your experience. You may wish to withdraw yourself from social situations, isolate yourself from those who care about you or struggle to form new connections with others. Experiences of sexual violence can also affect how you feel about sex and intimacy. This does not mean you are damaged or broken, it means your brain and body have been impacted by significant trauma, and all these impacts are both normal and common responses to an experience of sexual violence.