The impact of rape on the survivor’s life
Please Note: The STAR Centre – Rape Crisis Ayrshire is not a medical or health service which can diagnose physical or mental health condition. The purpose of this page is to provide rape or sexual assault or abuse survivors, anyone who may be supporting a survivor, or anyone who works with survivors, information about anxiety and how it may be experienced, or show itself in the feelings or body of the survivor.
If you have been hurt or injured and think you need immediate medical treatment, call 999.
If you need physical or mental health advice, contact your own GP or call NHS 24 on 111 for more urgent advice.
Rape, or attempted rape, is a crime driven by the desire for power, control and domination. Although it involves a sexual act, rape is not driven by desire. There are many harmful myths surrounding rape or sexual assault, such as the idea that men cannot control their behaviour or “need” sexual release. These myths are untrue and contribute to misunderstanding and victim-blaming.
The impact of rape, or attempted rape, can have long lasting, profound effects on a woman’s life. Every woman experiences sexual violence and abuse differently; there is no ‘correct’ way to respond. Each woman’s response is shaped by her mind and body’s instinct to survive.
Immediate emotional and physical response
After a rape, or attempted rape, a woman may experience a wide range of reactions, which are all normal responses to trauma. Common reactions are:
- Shock and numbness, feeling blank or unable to process what has happened
- Calmness, appearing composed and able to communicate clearly
- Distress, crying, anger, confusion, or emotional overwhelm
- Denial or avoidance, minimising the event or trying to escape reality
- Memory difficulties, inability to recall events clearly
- Physical responses, shaking, exhaustion, hypervigilance (being easily startled)
These responses vary greatly and may change over time. All of these reactions are normal responses to an abnormal and traumatic event. A woman may experience some, all, or none of these.
Trauma responses during an assault
Many survivors later question their behaviour during the attack. However, trauma responses are automatic and controlled by the brain’s survival system, not conscious choice.
Understanding Trauma Responses
Fight - Attempting to resist physically, shout, or defend oneself. This is often expected by society, but it is not the most common response.
Flight - Attempting to escape the situation. This is also less common, and factors like age or fitness do not determine whether someone can flee during trauma.
Freeze (most common)
- Feeling paralysed or unable to move
- Unable to speak or react
- Often experiencing dissociation (feeling detached from reality)
The freeze response is part of the body’s survival system. Unlike the more familiar “fight or flight” reactions, freezing causes the body to slow down:
- Breathing may become shallow or feel restricted
- Heart rate can drop
- Digestion may shut down
- There may be a sensation of losing control over the bowel or bladder
This response happens extremely quickly, often without any awareness. The brain shifts into survival mode, meaning the part responsible for conscious thinking (the frontal lobe) has little involvement at that moment.
Friend - Trying to calm or reason with the perpetrator, often to reduce harm. This may include placating behaviour or attempts to de-escalate the situation.
Flop (tonic immobility)
- Body becomes limp or unresponsive
- In extreme fear, the body may “shut down”
- This is a protective response by the body.
Research suggests that freezing is the most common response, experienced by 70% of survivors. (Moller et al, 2017: Eaton, 2019).
What happens in the brain during trauma
During a traumatic event like rape or sexual assault:
- The thinking part of the brain (frontal lobe) becomes less active
- The limbic system (survival centre) takes control
- The amygdala (alarm system) detects danger
- The body releases stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol)
This causes:
- Increased heart rate and alertness
- Rapid breathing
- Preparation for survival (fight, flight, or freeze)
If the brain determines escape or fighting is not possible, it may trigger freeze or shutdown responses to protect the individual.
How trauma affects memory
Women may also find that their memories of what has happened to them are not clear, fragmented, or can’t fit into a coherent ‘story’ or narrative. This is very common. Trauma can also disrupt how memories are processed. The hippocampus — the part of the brain that usually organises short-term memory — can be affected by stress hormones like cortisol.
As a result, a woman may not retain clear, step-by-step memories of the event. Instead, she may remember:
- Sounds, tone of voice, loud noises
- Smells
- Physical sensations (such as touch)
- Colours or textures
These sensory memories can feel very vivid and may return unexpectedly, sometimes causing anxiety, flashbacks, or panic attacks.
Understanding what happens in the brain and body during trauma can be an important step in recovery. It can help a woman:
- Make sense of her reaction during the event
- Understand emotional and physical responses afterward
- Begin the process of healing
Sexual violence is often experienced as a deeply personal violation. Unfortunately, harmful myths and unrealistic expectations about how someone “should” respond can lead to misunderstanding or victim-blaming.
There is no ‘right’ way to react to a traumatic event
There is no “right way”, “wrong way”, or predictable response to sexual violence. Every woman reacts differently, with every woman’s response being right for her in that moment.
Common reactions may include:
- Freezing or being unable to move, shout, or scream
- Delaying speaking to anyone about the rape or sexual assault
- Choosing not to report the incident to police in the immediate aftermath of the rape or choosing not to report at all.
- Gaps in memory or difficulty recalling events
- Complete amnesia around the traumatic event
- Remembering details differently over time
- Having no visible physical injuries
- Continuing contact or a relationship with the perpetrator
- Minimising or questioning the experience
Emotionally, survivors may appear:
- Calm or in control
- Tearful or distressed
- Silent or in shock
- Angry or defensive
- Fearful or physically shaken
These are normal responses to an abnormal and traumatic experience.
Longer term impact of sexual violence
The longer term impact of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault is personal and can vary from one person to another. Women’s experiences may be influenced by different factors, including:
- Whether a woman knew the person who harmed her or has been in a relationship with that person
- A woman’s previous life experiences
- The nature and duration of what happened
- How others responded when the woman shared your experience
Women respond to trauma in many different ways.
A woman may experience:
- Anxiety, fear, or panic attacks
- Difficulties sleeping or nightmares
- Intrusive thoughts or memories
- A constant sense of alertness or feeling unsafe
- Isolation or emotional numbness
- Shame, guilt, or self-blame
- A sense of losing control
If the person who harmed a woman was someone she knew, this can add another layer of confusion and distress. It may affect the woman’s sense of trust, safety, and her relationships with others. She may also find it harder to talk about what happened.
Healing and Support
Experiencing trauma can make it difficult to trust others. At the same time, support and connection can play an important role in healing. Taking steps toward support—at a woman’s own pace—can make a difference.
The STAR Centre offers a range of support options.
Helpline support can be accessed when needed. The helpline is currently open on Mondays between 2pm and 5pm and on Thursdays between 11 am and 2 pm. For phone support phone 07850 214805 or make initial contact with the helpline by texting 07850 214803 where you can leave a message and a support worker will call you back. The helpline also offers contact by instant messaging which can be accessed by visiting our website during helpline opening hours.
Face to face support can be provided by one of our support team over a period of 12 support sessions. This in person support is delivered at our base in Kilmarnock and lasts up to 1 hour. It is normally delivered weekly but can also be accessed fortnightly if this is more suitable.
Telephone support can be offered over the longer term if these would suit. This can be useful for some women who may find it hard to attend face to face appointments in Kilmarnock. Sessions last up to 1 hour and are also delivered over 12 support sessions.
Online support can be offered by Zoom or Teams and will be provided as above over 12 sessions/1 hour each.
Email support sometimes suits and the allocated support worker will respond to the woman’s emails during the agreed support time.
All sessions, apart from helpline support, times for all longer term support sessions will be agreed between the woman and her support worker.
