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Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings

*Trigger Warning: This post explicitly discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts and feelings. If you are struggling or feeling vulnerable, please be mindful of your own self-care while reading this post and take time away from the material if you need to.  

Reading time: 5-7min

What are suicidal thoughts and feelings? 

Suicidal thoughts and feelings are a natural response to an experience of trauma. Experiencing thoughts and feelings of suicide can mean having abstract thoughts about taking your own life or feeling that the people in your life would be better off without you. This could also mean thinking about different methods of suicide or making plans to take your own life.

Experiences of trauma, including sexual violence, can cause overwhelming feelings that may make you feel like you cannot cope any longer. It can be common for survivors of sexual violence to struggle with feelings of hopelessness, and you may question if it is possible for life to continue without the emotional, psychological or physical pain you are in. Feeling and thinking like this can be very distressing, but this is a normal response to an experience of trauma, and there is help and support available if you are struggling with suicidal thoughts and feelings, or if you have planned to take your own life.

How do suicidal thoughts/feelings impact survivors of sexual violence?

Experiencing any form of sexual violence is traumatic and can affect survivors’ self-esteem and self-confidence. Many survivors experience a range of emotions including shock, fear, anger, shame, guilt and betrayal. Survivors may also struggle with panic attacks, flashbacks or nightmares which can increase feelings of distress, make it feel as though there is no way to move forward from what happened, and increase the likelihood of experiencing suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Everyone experiences suicidal thoughts and feelings differently, and many survivors do not have the support they need when they start to struggle with these thoughts and feelings. It can be common to see suicide as a way of escaping from overwhelming pain and distress; or as a way of taking back control of your own life.

Suicidal feelings can be confusing. You may not want to die, but you may feel that you can no longer cope with what happened or how you feel now. Many people think about suicide, or struggle with the thoughts and feelings of suicide, at some time in their life. These thoughts and feelings can change over time. Some days you may feel they are not as prominent, and other days you may struggle to think about or feel anything else, for example, if you have experienced a trigger, flashback or nightmare. If you are finding that you are thinking about how you would end your life, or if you have attempted to take your life in the past, it is important to remember that you can get help.

Mind UK have noted how you may think or feel and what you may experience if you are struggling with thoughts and feelings of suicide. 

Survivors may struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for many different reasons, and sometimes it is not always clear to survivors why they are thinking and feeling the way that they are. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts and feelings, it can help to engage in some coping strategies that can help to distract and ground yourself in the present moment, we’ve listed some of the methods that can help below. It may also be helpful to create a safety plan or talk to someone that you trust.

What you can do: Self-care tips for survivors

Below are some self-care tips that you can use if you are struggling with thoughts or feelings of suicide.

• Remember that you and your safety are important.
• Although it may not feel like it right now, it is possible to heal and recover from sexual violence, and this can look different for everyone. The way you are thinking and feeling now may change over time with some support.
• It can be helpful to talk to someone, talking can help with suicidal thoughts and feelings. You could speak to a trusted friend or family member, your GP, a mental health worker, or the Rape Crisis Scotland helpline. There are also several other helplines available which provide support for anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts and feelings, which we’ve noted further on in this post.
  • It is important to speak to someone who helps you to feel safe, and who does not judge you for the way you are thinking or feeling. Within the Star Centre we understand that struggles with suicidal thoughts and feelings can be a common impact that many people will experience after sexual violence. It may help to explore how you are thinking or feeling with one of our support workers through individual support sessions.
• When you feel alone and in crisis (sometimes this can happen at nighttime), you can phone Samaritans, Breathing Space or Rape Crisis Scotland. Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You may also be able to access email, online and face-to-face support with different organisations.
• If you feel you cannot or do not want to speak to someone, it can also be helpful to write down what you are thinking and feeling. Journalling can help to remove the thoughts from your head and can allow you to think about what has stopped you acting on these thoughts and feelings before now. It can also be helpful to note down your reasons for living.
• It can be helpful to learn new techniques that may help you manage the intense thoughts, feelings and potential reactions you may have, which make you think about suicide. These techniques may not stop the thoughts or feelings, but they may stop you from acting on them. This could include:
  • Exercise, activity, and distraction.
  • Relaxation and breathing techniques.
  • Coping strategies that help to reduce stress and anxiety, such as the cold-water technique (running cold water over the backs of your hands). Strategies that activate one of the five senses can help to regulate your body and mind, and in turn help you to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings.
  • Building up self-esteem, self-confidence and reducing self-blame. You may not want to end your life, but you may want the physical, emotional or psychological pain you are in to stop.
• Remember to keep yourself grounded. It can help to stick to a daily routine, with regular times for waking up, going to bed, eating and relaxing. Do the things that help you to feel better, such as reading, sports, engaging with a hobby class, or any of your coping strategies. Eat a well-balanced diet, eating little and often can help you to avoid under- or over-eating. Reduce or avoid using alcohol and drugs, they may help in the short-term but can lead to longer-term problems.
• Making a safety plan can also help to keep you safe. When you feel suicidal, it can be hard to think clearly and rationally. Having a safety plan means you have a note of people and organisations that you can contact, along with some things you can do to help keep yourself safe. It is best to keep your safety plan somewhere that is close to hand for when you need it. You can create a safety plan through the Samaritans website, which you will find a link to in the reference section of this post.  

Try to avoid the following:

• Being alone: This can make thoughts or feelings about suicide worse. Try to do something to take your mind off your thoughts, such as visiting a friend, taking your dog for a walk, or speaking to someone you trust.
• Actively thinking about suicide as this can make suicidal thoughts and feelings stronger.
• Using alcohol or drugs, as these can lower your inhibitions and may make you act impulsively. Alcohol is also a depressant substance and may make you feel worse.
• Driving, or operating machinery that may put you in harms way when thoughts and feelings of suicide are prominent.
• Anything that may make you feel upset, such as music, films or photos. It can be more helpful to engage with things that make you feel uplifted and regulated.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and you think this is having a serious effect on your health, speak to your GP or another professional. They may be able to refer you for therapies which can help you manage better.

Remember: You are important, your feelings matter, and you do not have to cope on your own.

If you have been impacted by any of the information in this post, please reach out to us at The Star Centre by contacting admin@starcentreayrshire.org or phoning 01563 544686.

Helplines

Breathing Space – 0800 83 85 87 (Mon-Thurs 6pm-2am, Fri-Mon 6pm-6am)

Rape Crisis Scotland – 08088 01 03 02 (open every day, 5pm – midnight)

The Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7, 365 days a year)

References

Mind UK: Understanding suicidal thoughts - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/about-suicidal-feelings/

Rape Crisis Scotland - https://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/resources/?cat=1

Samaritans: Creating a safety plan - https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-having-difficult-time/create-a-safety-plan-for-when-youre-feeling-suicidal/