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Self-Harm after an experience of sexual violence

Posted on October 30 2025 at 14:49

*Trigger Warning – This post discusses differing forms of self-harm and how this can impact survivors of sexual violence. If you are struggling or feeling vulnerable, please be mindful of your own self-care while reading this post and take time away from the material if you need to.

Sexual violence is traumatic and can impact self-esteem and self-confidence. Survivors of sexual violence may self-harm to cope with what has happened to them. Many survivors of sexual violence do not have the chance to talk about the complex and painful feelings associated with the trauma they experienced. Self-harm can be a way to cope with difficult feelings like betrayal, anger, pain and isolation, as well to cope with painful memories, overwhelming situations or experiences. Survivors may often feel misunderstood or judged for harming themselves because other people may see their behaviour, but not the underlying reasons for it.

Reading time 5-7min.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is a form of coping. Survivors of sexual violence sometimes self-harm. Self-harm is when you hurt yourself as a way of coping with difficult feelings, painful memories, or overwhelming situations or experiences. There are many different reasons why people may use self-harm, which include:

Expressing emotional pain and experiences which can be hard to put into words
Changing emotional, invisible pain into something physical and visible
Reducing or blocking out painful thoughts and emotions
Feeling more in control
To stop feeling numb, disconnected or dissociated and become “grounded” in the here and now
Punishing themselves and/or others for their emotions or experiences
To prompt self-care
To enable communication with others
Expressing suicidal thoughts/feelings without taking their own life
To get the support and care they need.

Self-harm can take many forms. Some people will always use the same method, while others may hurt themselves in different ways at different times. Self-harm can look like:

Cutting, scratching, picking or burning skin and body parts
Misusing alcohol or drugs (prescription or recreational)
Over-eating or under-eating
Overworking or over-exercising
Inserting objects into your body
Pulling hair
Hitting walls or yourself
Putting yourself at risk of harm
Neglecting emotional or physical wellbeing

After self-harming, people often feel a short-term sense of release or control. This can make you more likely to depend on it and less able to stop, but it’s likely that difficult feelings will return soon after. This can include feelings of guilt or shame which can be very prominent if you have self-harmed previously.

How does self-harm affect survivors of sexual violence?

Sexual violence is traumatic and affects self-esteem and self-confidence. Many survivors of sexual violence do not get the support they need at the time, and do not have the chance to talk about the complex and painful feelings associated with trauma.

Self-harm can be a way to cope with feelings of betrayal, anger, pain and isolation which may work in the short-term but may become problematic over time.

There may be physical health consequences from self-harming such as injury, infection, dependency or addiction.. It can be helpful to keep some first aid supplies to treat any injuries, but it is best to get medical attention if an injury is deeper or more severe than usual.

Survivors may have to cope with other people’s negative attitudes or lack of understanding about self-harming. People, including professionals, may see the behaviour but not the underlying reasons. People who do not understand may react with shock, anger or frustration, or use stigmatising language and suggest that self-harm is a form of attention-seeking, which can leave people feeling alone and judged. People often use self-harm to bring attention to how they feel, and many people may also keep their self-harm private, so it can be painful to have your behaviour misunderstood in this way. No matter the reasons for self-harm, whether you understand why you self-harm or not, you are not alone, and you can get help.

Alternative ways to release intense feelings

If you are struggling to cope and feeling the inclination to harm yourself, there are different methods of coping, listed below, which you may feel are helpful, alternative ways of releasing your emotions, which include:

Tear up phone books/newspapers
Fill a sink with ice cubes and plunge hands into it/hold ice cubes
Hold a bag of frozen peas against your body
Write on yourself in red marker or red food colouring
Paint face paints on the place where you usually hurt yourself
Punch/scream into a pillow
Smash up old china (you can buy this second hand)
Use a punching bag
Write a letter/draw a picture of what is bothering you and then rip it up
Go for a walk/run/swim – move your body in a way that feels good to you
Draw/paint what you feel inside
Use playdough to express yourself. You can also squash it and throw it about
Take bottles to the bottle bank and smash them up safely
Rip up old clothes or sheets
Eat a chilli/something hot
Have a cold bath/shower
Throw eggs in the shower/outside
Throw stones in the river/sea

Things you can do to minimise hurt and injury when you self-harm

If you do self-harm, it’s important you feel able to look after yourself and engage in some self-care or seek medical attention if required. We have listed ways you can look after yourself below:

Avoid drugs and/or alcohol if you think you are likely to self-harm, so you don’t accidently wound yourself more seriously than you intended.
Prevent infection by using something clean when you cut. Never share what you use to self-injure. Try to avoid areas where there are major veins and arteries close to the surface. Make sure your tetanus jags are up to date.
Put burns under cold water for 20/30 minutes. Burns and scalds can be more severe than you think – the pain can be far worse later. Cling film, loosely covering the burn, can act as a temporary dressing. You should get medical attention for burns larger than a 50-pence piece, or that have penetrated deep into the skin, and be seen by a qualified medical professional within a hospital setting.
Be prepared, have dressings and antiseptics ready so you can care for your injuries. You can learn more about looking after wounds, cuts, burns and other injuries from a first aid book, someone you trust who knows about first aid or the nurse in your GP practice.
Clean any cuts with gauze swabs, not cotton wool. Cover with a dry, non-adhesive dressing. It can be useful to keep antiseptic creams and sprays handy. You can use paper stitches to close superficial wounds.
If any of your cuts are gaping and deep, you need medical attention. Try to keep the injured body part raised and apply pressure until you get to the hospital (A&E), to reduce the bleeding.
If blood is spurting from a wound, call an ambulance, wrap the injury in a clean towel and try to stay calm.
If a cut or burn becomes infected it is important to get medical treatment.
You can go into shock if you lose a lot of blood or if you have severe, large burns. Call an ambulance if this happens.
If you drink bleach or any other corrosive liquid, you can be in danger of poisoning. You must get medical attention immediately.

If you think you may have taken too many drugs (prescribed or illegal) get medical help quickly, particularly with drugs such as paracetamol. Sometimes damage can occur later or there can be a cumulative effect if you have overdosed more than once. If you do not wish to attend A&E, think about phoning NHS24 for advice and help. LifeSIGNS also has information on first aid for self-harm, you can access their website here - https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

What you can do: Self-care tips

There are things you can do to help manage the feelings and reactions which lead to self-harming, which may help you to stop self-harming. These include:

Talking to someone supportive – Rape Crisis Scotland Helpline (5pm to Midnight), Breathing Space (6pm – 2am/6am differing days) and Samaritans (24/7) – Helpline numbers are listed at the bottom of this post.
Attend a self-help group (RCS Helpline can help with finding one in your area).
Building up self-esteem, self-confidence and reducing self-blame.
Reducing stress and anxiety.
Using relaxation and breathing techniques.
Exercise and activity.
Developing new coping strategies – At The Star Centre, we can help you to understand what coping strategies are and what ones may help you to manage your emotions, responses and the impact of your experiences.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and you think this is having a serious effect on your health, speak to your GP or another professional. They may be able to refer you for therapies which can help you manage better.

If you have been impacted by any of the information in this post, please reach out to us at The Star Centre by contacting admin@starcentreayrshire.org or phoning 01563 544686. Remember, you are important, your feelings matter, and you do not have to cope on your own.

Helplines

Breathing Space – 0800 83 85 87 (Mon-Thurs 6pm-2am, Fri-Mon 6pm-6am)

Rape Crisis Scotland – 08088 01 03 02 (open every day, 5pm – midnight)

The Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7, 365 days a year)